


Ever Since...

by Novak26



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:02:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24021028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novak26/pseuds/Novak26
Summary: After Cas risks his life to save Jack, Dean finally admits his feelings to the blue-eyed angel.  They finally give in to the eleven years of feelings, but an unexpected visitor (the Empty) shows up to ruin their happiest moment.This is a theory I had after watching season 14, and how it would be awesome for season 15 destiel to happen. This is my first story and it was written at like 1 am, so please go easy on me!
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	Ever Since...

Dean feels the rumble of the Impala’s engine through the steering wheel as he grips it tight. His knuckles begin to turn white. Anger still flows through his veins like boiling water.

“I don’t understand why you’re mad at me,” Castiel says from the passenger seat. Dean scoffs and looks over at the angel sitting next to him. His trenchcoat is dirtier than usual, and there is a scorch mark on the collar of his normally pristine dress shirt, which is slightly unbuttoned.

“You could’ve gotten yourself killed, that’s why!” Dean tells, his eyes going back to the road in front of them.

“It was a matter of priority, Dean,” Cas says, now yelling as well. “That potion was going to save Jack, and that is far more important than my life.” Dean suddenly swerves the car off the road and into a shallow clearing. It overlooks a small, rocky cliff. He switches off the engine.

“Dammit, Cas!” He yells. Dean throws open his door and steps out, slamming it behind him. The early morning air chills his face. It’s just before sunrise. He walks around the front of the car and leans heavily on the hood. A few moments later he feels the car move as Cas steps out and joins him, leaning lightly on the car next to him. 

“What is your problem, Dean? It’s my life, my choice, and I decided that the potion was more important at the time being.” Castiel growls.

“Son of a bitch! When are you gonna realize, Cas!” Dean shouts, scaring a nearby bird.

“Realize what?!”

“That nothing is more important than your life!” A bird crows somewhere in the distance. There is silence, bar the sounds of nature. After a few seconds, Dean dares to look over at Cas. He’s looking up. His messy, dark brown hair flutters in the slight morning breeze. His pale blue eyes are striking in contrast to the vibrant yellows and oranges that paint the sky as the sun peeks out over the horizon line and the dark green trees that frame the desolate road. Cas can feel Dean watching him and snaps his attention back to lock their eyes in a tension-filled stare. Dean swallows. He notices that they are standing less than a foot away from each other. 

“Nothing,” Dean repeats. “is more important than your life. Not some stupid potion, not some fight with God, and not the freakin apocalypse, do you hear me?!”

“I hear you, Dean,” Cas starts, anger visible on his face, although it doesn’t really look much different than his normal resting bitch face. Sam has one too, but Cas’s is much more powerful and causes Dean’s heart to pang in his chest. “I just don’t understand. This is Jack’s life! He’s like a son to me! How is that less important?!”

“Because I love you dammit!” Dean yells. The words echo through the morning air. Less than a second later, before Cas even has time to think, Dean closes the gap between them, grabs the lapels of Cas’s always dirty trenchcoat, and kisses him.

A volt of electricity strikes through Cas as he stumbles forward, and Dean’s lips are on his. His lips are warm and taste of apple pie and whiskey. It happens so fast, Cas can barely close his eyes. Dean lets go of his coat and pushes Cas away. Cas stumbles back a couple of feet just by the sheer force of Dean’s push, but also in shock. He can feel that his face is beet red, and it is mirrored in Dean’s face as well.

Dean groans and turns around, leaning his head on the hood of the Impala. “Dammit Cas,” he starts, closing his eyes. The cold metal of the hood cools his burning face, but it doesn’t help rid the bright color. “I love you.

“I’ve loved you ever since Jack brought you back from the Empty. I’ve loved you ever since you were human. Ever since you escaped Purgatory. Ever since you saved Sam from Hell. Ever since you wanted to become a hunter. Ever since you copied the Pizza Man. Ever since you got us kicked out of that sex bar. Ever since you held that FBI badge upside down.” Dean looks up at Cas. His face is unreadable. “Ever since you carved Enochian into my ribs. Ever since you fell. Ever since I stabbed you in the chest with the Demon Knife.” Dean lets out a small laugh and a smile spreads across his face. “I’ve loved you ever since you pulled me out of Hell.” Dean turns around and leans on the Impala again, facing Cas.

Cas is frozen. His face is placid, but Dean notices the blush beginning to creep across his cheeks. His trenchcoat is even more messed up because of Dean, and his dark blue tie is backward.  
“Since I gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition?” Cas asks, his voice breaking slightly, shaky. Dean blanches hearing those words again but also smiles.

“Still don’t like how you say that,” Dean laughs. “But yes, Cas. But Cas, I-”  
Dean,” Cas cuts him off. He steps forward so that he’s right in front of Dean. Dean’s heart rate spikes to a quick 120 march tempo, as if someone was playing High School Cadets against his sternum. The next words that come out of his mouth shake Dean to his core. “I know.”

Cas reaches his hand out and tilts Dean’s chin up with the tips of his fingers. “I know,” he says again and presses his lips to Dean’s. Dean, who is practically sitting on the hood of the Impala, almost loses his footing in shock. When he regains his balance, however, he wraps his arms around Cas’s neck, pulling him closer. Cas, his eyes closed now, puts his other hand on the Impala beside Dean to steady himself, but also to make sure he doesn’t fall on Dean as he leans down. Dean can’t help but smile against the angel’s mouth as eleven years of pent up feelings and angst are finally released in one blissful moment. They have melted into each other’s lives, painted together by life, unsure of what’s to come. But he doesn’t necessarily have to worry about the future. To Dean, at this moment, the present is the only thing that matters.

Dean pushes himself up until he’s standing again. He slides one arm around Cas’s waist. Cas moves one hand to Dean’s chest, placing the other on his upper arm. Dean grabs hold of Castiel’s signature blue tie and pulls him closer until their chests are touching. 

As his heart rate slows, Dean leans back just a few inches and opens his eyes. Cas’s are now open too. Dean smiles, knowing he will now be able to tell the angel all of the other things he adores about him.  
Like how his piercing eyes show thousands of ocean waves crashing together in a beautiful chaotic symphony. How his tie is always crooked. How he always has messy sex hair, even though he’s only had sex once. Like how he loves to hear Cas say “Hello Dean” in his weirdly deep voice. 

“Cas,” Dean laughs. “We’re in the middle of the freakin apocalypse. God himself is trying to completely screw us over and destroy our world, the sick son of a bitch, and we could literally die at any moment.”

“Jack is alive. Sam is safe. We saved Kaia, and now Death is helping us,” he places his hand on Dean’s shoulder, the same shoulder he branded all those years ago. Cas flashes Dean one of his rare, beautiful smiles. “The world is ending. Yet, in this moment, I have never been happier.” It’s all the motivation Dean needs to lean in again.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” Just as their lips make contact, Castiel is pulled backward with a surprising amount of force. Dean’s eyes snap open at the unfamiliar voice.

Cas is standing a couple of feet in front of him. Dean stares in shock as a sort of black goo materializes next to Cas and forms the shape of a person. Dean immediately reaches for the gun in the waistband of his jeans, but he never raises it.

“Meg?!” Standing next to Castiel is Meg Masters, Cas’s ex...well... ex-demon that he kissed. She laughs and places a hand on Cas’s shoulder.

“Not quite, Dean-o,” She says. Dean looks to Cas for answers, but can’t read his face. Instead, he sees a flurry of emotions. Anger? Guilt? Sadness? Dean reaches for his gun again.

“Okay, you’re not Meg. So who the hell are you and what do you want?” He asks. The Meg-not Meg thing smiles, turning to Cas.

“Well, Castiel here says he’s never been happier.” Her grin turns evil. “Which means it’s time to go.” Now Dean pulls his gun. Keeping his aim steady on the thing, Dean turns to Cas. Now he can clearly read the emotion on his face. Anger.

“Cas what the hell is it talking about?” Dean demands. Before he can answer, however, Cas is cut off by Meg laughing hysterically. It’s a disgusting sound, like nails on a chalkboard. 

“Oh! You mean you didn’t tell your boyfriend about our little deal?” She laughs out. “That is hysterical! Way to go, Cassie!”

“What deal, Cas?” Dean asks, his voice shaky. He is certain that he doesn’t want to hear the answer. This time, Cas’s face is riddled with guilt.

“Well, our handsome little Castiel here wanted to save his little Nephilim friend, you know? Jack, his name is, looks exactly like him. Kind of like a son to Castiel, which is actually kind of creepy since he’s the Devil’s kid, but no matter. Anyway, so instead of the little brat dying, “Cas” offered himself up instead.” She says Cas’s name as though it leaves a bad taste in her mouth. Dean whips to face Cas at break-neck speed. Cas looks at the ground, refusing to meet Dean’s eyes. “However, I told him that I would take him when he finally allowed himself to be truly happy again. All I had to do was wait for the magic words.”

At this, Castiel’s head snaps up and his eyes lock with Dean’s. Dean watches as tears roll down Cas’s cheeks, leaving glistening tracks as they fall. Dean takes a step forward, but Meg takes one back, pulling the angel with her. Dean can barely process what’s happening.

“Where are you taking him?” Dean dares to ask. He already knows he’s not going to like the answer.

“To the Empty, of course!” She says, smiling. Dean’s reaction is instantaneous.

“Oh hell no!” He yells and fires his pistol. A loud crack echoes through the deserted road, scaring away all wildlife in a three-mile radius. However, the bullet never finds its target as The Empty’s body turns to black goo and the bullet passes right through.

“Say goodbye, Mr. Winchester,” It gargles out. 

“I’m sorry Dean,” Cas says quickly, his voice breaking tremendously.

“Cas!” Dean yells, rushing forward. But it’s too late. They’re gone.

He’s gone.

***

“CAS! CAS!” Dean continues to yell. He yells until his voice is practically gone. “Cas.” He croaks out, sinking to his knees in the gravel. He doesn’t care that he looks pathetic. He doesn’t care about the tears streaming freely down his face. He doesn’t care that his voice is gone.

He doesn’t care.

And as the sun finally shines brightly above the horizon, the sky is painted a bright blue, the same shade as Castiel’s eyes. Dean shields his eyes from the light as the sky rids itself of the oranges and pinks of the sunrise, and he feels a deep pang in his heart. And in this moment he knows, something that took him damn too long to realize.

He has to get his angel back.

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this theory after watching the episode where Cas promises to let the Empty take him when he finally allows himself to be happy. Being the Destiel fan that I am, this is how I imagined it going. This was written at like one in the morning, so it's definitely not perfect. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
